Is a Life Coach Right For You?
August 26, 2008
How often do you find yourself asking advice from a person that has never achieved the things you want? Have you found yourself wondering if the person you are asking for advice is truly objective? For example, asking your mother if you should quit your job to start your own business. This might bring a myriad of new reasons NOT to do this new (if not somewhat risky) endeavor. Not because she doesn’t want you to be successful and independent, but because she has her own fears about what being an entrepreneur really means. A life coach will not make your decisions for you. What they will do is make you aware of the multitude of options in front of you, motivate you to make the desired changes in your life and support you in your journey from where you are now to where you want to be. A coach’s job is to point out your blind spots, to have you see what you aren’t currently able to see.
Life coaching is not counseling or psychotherapy. The latter two are about finding emotional resolution to problems, present or past. Life coaching is about changing your behavior; there is a small amount of reflection of past circumstances and lots of focus on the future. It is about designing and taking action on your future and keeping momentum when the usual fears rear their ugly heads. Your coach will not spend much time discussing with you how you feel, although they will challenge the negative beliefs that are holding you back, in order that you may discard them and embrace your unlimited potential.
Life coaching generally takes the form of regular, one-to-one sessions of an hour or so, either face to face or over the telephone. The coach will help you to focus your goals and to devise small steps towards meeting them. The coach will also hold you accountable for your progress.
Have you always wanted to start your own business? Maybe you want to travel extensively or even try skydiving? Do you want to get fit, learn new skills, or expand your social circle? If so, what is preventing you from doing it? A life coach can help erode your fears, assist you in deciding what you truly desire, and build your confidence to help you to live the life you’ve always dreamed of.
Life coaching is not the answer for everybody. If you have experienced trauma or had a very unhappy or frightening childhood, life coaching will probably not be of use to you until you have worked through your issues with a psychotherapist. Ask yourself how much is it costing you NOT to have your goals and dreams realized? Ultimately, the expense of a coach is far less than the cost of the years you may waste doing the same ineffective things over and again. If you have wanted something, and tried all that you know or can think of to achieve it with no real lasting success, perhaps you should consider coaching. If your problems are more in the realms of not being able to get yourself organized, being too busy to think about what you really want out of life or always giving “should” priority over “want to”, life coaching can be of limitless value to you.
You can find a life coach to give your life a general shake-up or to specialize in a specific area. You can have coaching to help with your work, coaching to help you land the job you’ve always wanted, coaching of through a big change such as divorce, coaching to inspire and motivate you to make the most of your life - any, all or a mixture of these.
It’s not difficult to find yourself a life coach by searching the internet. It doesn’t matter if there isn’t one in your area, because you can always have your coaching on the telephone. Ask yourself how much is it costing you NOT to have your goals and dreams realized? Ultimately, the expense of a coach is far less than the cost of the years you may waste doing the same ineffective things over and again. If you have really wanted something, and tried all that you know or can think of to achieve it with no real lasting success, perhaps you should consider coaching. Most coaches will offer a free introductory meeting during which you can decide whether life coaching is for you and whether you like this coach’s style. So you’ve got nothing to lose - what are you waiting for?
Anger-and-Aggression
August 6, 2008
Everyone is subjected to anger and aggression in different scenarios. This is a simple fact of life. The key is learning how to control the anger rather than letting it get out of control and ultimately control you. Anger management skills are required by all of us nowadays and we have to accept that there are problems lying underneath the anger, which we often ignore. These are the real issues, which should be addressed in order to manage our anger.
The problems, which we face throughout our lives, accumulate in our minds as frustrations and can make a person very edgy. When we are in this frame of mind we can abruptly turn on anyone, without a reason. So the major issue is that there are frustrations that make a person go ballistic and such frustrations have to be be managed in a appropriate manner. Anger management techniques are essential in preventing this type of outburst by addressing the underlying issues.
Anger is directly linked to positive or negative attitudes. Most people are prone to the latter, which is totally destructive.Positive anger is a bit more difficult, but not impossible to achieve, because with positive anger, you can find solutions to your problems in a cool and level-headed manner. This is the best form of anger management.
You can learn a lot of anger management techniques by undergoing anger management counselling which will assist in turning your negative anger into positive anger. We should not lose our cool during any situation and should use all the anger management techniques,methods and tools we have at our disposal to help solve our problems.
For example,if you have a fight with your best friend, you get a feeling deep inside that something has gone wrong and you are in danger of losing your best friend. This can be a source of frustration for you and what you must do is talk to your friend about the problem you are both experiencing and resolve it. Remember, good friends are hard to find.
Another real life example is when you find out that someone is spreading negative rumors about you, like you drink, or you use drugs, or you are stealing money from home. Obviously anyone will get angry in such a situation, but you cannot go to that person spreading the rumors and just hit or assault them which quite often anger outbursts can prompt you to do.
The best way to solve this type of problem is to go to the person or call them and ask in an assertive manner what his/her problem is and why he/she is spreading such bad and untrue rumors about you. He/she will probably deny doing these things but irrespective of any denials you need to tell them in a more assertive manner that you are aware that this has been going on for a while and you will not tolerate it anymore and he/she should stop immediately.
Above all it is important to remain calm throughout the exchange and not let your anger show. This is of paramount importance .Outbursts of anger in this type of situation are only likely to make matters worse, rather than lead to a reasonable conclusion. They will come up with the truth eventually and usually apologize.
Assertiveness is a positive form of anger management that needs to be practiced.
One of the best ways, recommended by many anger management teachers, to solve problems of any kind is never ever do anything out of anger as this is very likely to cause more harm. Always approach problems in a calm and controlled manner, or walk away until you have managed to calm down.
The best anger management tip is to stop and think before acting out your aggression.
